xX Funny quotes part 3..Xx

Yo yo yo! Whaddup? I know what you're thinking, "why do you update so early?" Well my friend, I'm about to go to the mall to play in the arcade, eat pizza and go shopping. Though I hate shopping. Don't mind me, let's just start the post. Prepare some tissues because there is going to be more funnies. Enjoy~

                              

       

                     
 
                                         
                                         
                                         
                                      
                                                                           
                                 
                             
                          

                         
                       
                     
                    
                   
Lolz...Spend half a box of tissues just because of reading this. Just kidding.If it's true, I'm crying, not laughing. All of them are funny and I can't pick. Mainly it's because I'm too lazy to put in numbers. Don't be gloomy because there's more again tomorrow. See you soon~

xX Funny quotes part 2...Xx

Hey guys, what's up? Today we will be picking up from yesterday's topic. Yes! It's funny quotes. Now, let's get on with the show.

1. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

2. I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

3. The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.

4. First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

5. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

6. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

7. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

8. Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

9. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

10. Why do people say “no offense” right before they’re about to offend you?

11. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

12. By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

13. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

14. The best way to lie is to tell the truth . . . carefully edited truth.

15. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

16. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

17. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

18. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

19. If at first you don’t succeed . . . so much for skydiving.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

21. If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.

22. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

23. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

24. God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.

25. A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.”

Guys...this..is..genius! I laugh so hard I can't even remember what I was about to say. Oh. Nevermind. I remember now. Okay, my favorite was #6, #10, #14, #17, #20, and #22. Lolz.. I really love funnies. Kay, so now I'm afraid that's all I have to present. So.... bye.

xX Funny quotes...Xx

Hi there~

Today we will take a break from the facts, but do some quotes instead. I was thinking about some funny ones instead the touching and inspiring ones. So, prepare some tissues because you will laugh so hard.

Funny quotes that'll make you laugh so hard:

1. I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.

2. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

3. I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.

4. If you say you’re cooler than me… Does that make me hotter than you?

5.  Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?

I don’t know dear… You’ll have to ask grandma.

6. I dream of a better tomorrow… where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned

7. Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

8. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

9. He who laughs last didn’t get it.

10.My teacher pointed at me with his ruler and said “at the end of this ruler is and idiot!” I got detention after I asked him which end he was referring to.

11. It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

12. I have strong feeling about gun control. If there’s a gun around, I want to be controlling it.

13. A man’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.

14. Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.

15. Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.

16. What happens if you get scared half to death twice???

17.  I’m one of those people that laughs at a joke 3 TIMES:
>>ONCE when it’s told to me
>>ONCE when it’s explained to me
and
>>ONCE 5 minutes later when i finally understand it

18. It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

19. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

20. One possible reason that I don’t believe in fate is that I wasn’t fated to.

*laughs so hard from the quotes until chokes on the drink and got into hospital*

Just kidding everybody. I hope. Haha..anyways, hope this brightens up your day just like it brightens up mine. My personal favorite is #1, #4, #8, #17,  and #18. #19 is just too sad. Why, you ask? Because if happiness happens when someone leaves, that means they dislike the person, make that really dislike the person very much. That's both funny and depressing at the same time. Geez..reading this makes my life better. Haha..nah. Anyways, that's the end of today's post.

 I'll see you all tomorrow.

                

xX Not so horrible facts....Xx

Hello my lovely readers~

Today we will be talking about more facts and all. Gosh, we always talk about stuff like this. How depressing. Did you just notice anything? Yup. Just as the word said. Depressing. Well not all depressing, maybe a little. Today we will be talking about sad and depressing facts cause...why not? We've talked about funny ones, creepiest ones, weirdest ones, and now...the sad ones. Let's just get started.

Because they aren't as tasty as baby hens, baby roosters are usually tossed into a grinder after they're born.

In the United States, every year 2,500 left-handed people die from using equipment that was designed for right-handed people.

During World War II, George H. W. Bush's plane was shot down over Japan. He was one of 9 men on board. The other 8 men were captured and eaten.

On Mount Everest ,there are 200 corpses of failed climbers. They are used as guide points for climbers on their way up.

According to the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, 16% of cell phones have poop on them.

Cruel Nazi humans experiments are the reason we know so much about the stages of hypothermia.

According to a University of Arizona study, at least 20% of office coffee mugs contain fecal matter.

Some species of butterfly have been known to seek out and drink human blood.

Feet can sweat up to 20 liters every day.

You're more likely to die on the way to buy lottery tickets than you are to actually win.

In ancient Rome, the crushed brains of mice were used as toothpaste.

The FDA estimated that the average American eats a pound of insects every year. These insects are usually mixed in with other foods.

The end. That's all for today. Okay people, good work. Let's wrap up...

Thanks for reading this and I hope you like it because I do. Oh, and sorry for not warning you from the beginning that some of these facts are disgusting and will probablly make you regret reading this.

Hope not....

Well...um...until next time.

xX Myths that aren't true...Xx

Hi everybody. Yup. It's that time of the day again.
Today we're going to talk about some things but I'll let you see for yourself. Okay, let's start.

Pigeons Blow Up If You Feed Them Uncooked Rice

Wedding guests are often told to refrain from throwing uncooked rice because of the explosive consequences that it can have on birds, especially pigeons. Ann Landers and The Simpsons both warned us about it, so it must be true. 

If rice hurts their insides, then birds are pretty dumb. Did you know that birds eat rice grains during the cold months to maintain a healthy body mass? No bird explosions due to rice have ever been documented. The fact is that birds don't drink enough water to cause any significant stomach swelling due to rice. The no-rice wedding rule really exists to keep guests from taking a tumble.

Napoleon Was Short

Napoleon’s nickname may have been "Le Petit Caporal," drawings may depict him standing among much taller soldiers and he may have had an inferiority condition named after him (the Napoleon complex), but the truth is Napoleon Bonaparte wasn't short. Napoleon's height was measured in French feet, which listed him as being 5'2". That's pretty short, but using the Imperial system, Napoleon stood at 5'6", an average height for men in his country. What about the nickname? Napoleon was given the "Petit" tag because of his friendly and respectful nature toward his soldiers; and since most of them were above 6' tall, that's why he seemed small by comparison.

If You Shave Your Hair, It Returns Thicker And Faster

Despite studies from the 1920s showing the opposite, many men believe that shaving, waxing and cutting hair can accelerate its growth and that the hair will return  thicker and darker. In reality, it's one big special effect.

For one thing, the hair that we touch, see and style isn't alive. Living hair lies under the skin and scalp, so cutting it won't change the texture or speed that it grows. The fact is, you're merely seeing your hair at a different stage. Cutting your hair doesn't change the color, either: Since the sun naturally lightens hair, new growth looks darker, but it all evens out in the end.

The Salem "Witches" Were Burned

In February 1692, an investigation was launched into alleged witchcraft among citizens in colonial Massachusetts. Over the next year, some 150 people were arrested, and 20 of those convicted were executed. Contrary to popular belief, however, the accused “witches” were not burned.  

While some European laws encouraged burning after death as a way to "cleanse" witchcraft, it was forbidden in Massachusetts -- this ruling was because the judicial system was operating under English law. As a result, the "witches" all died by hanging, except for one: Giles Corey, who was crushed to death for refusing to enter a plea.

There's No Gravity

Since astronauts appear to be "weightless" in space, there is an assumption that space is a place with zero gravity. While there is less gravity in space, the idea that there is none is factually incorrect. 

There isn't just gravity on Earth, on the moon or even on the sun -- it's all around us. Gravity is responsible for keeping our feet planted on the ground, and it's also the way that planets and satellites maintain their orbits. The reason space allows humans to be weightless is because they are gravitating toward the Earth at the same rate as their ships -- very slowly.

Marie Antoinette Said, "Let Them Eat Cake."

- Marie Antoinette (?)

Translated as, "If they have no bread, let them eat cake," this cruel statement is mistakenly linked to the 18th-century French queen, Marie Antoinette. As evidence of its true origin, historians point to two other sources instead: One is 18th-century author Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who wrote of an arrogant princess suggesting brioche for the poor if they didn't have bread. The other potential source for the quote is Maria Theresa of Spain, who allegedly uttered the quote.

The Great Wall of China Is The Only Man-Made Structure Visible From Space

The Great Wall of China is one of Earth's architectural wonders. Historians like Richard Halliburton boldly proclaimed that it could be seen from the moon. NASA's lunar launch proved Halliburton wrong, but the belief remains that, from a close orbit, the Great Wall is the only man-made structure visible on Earth.

Ironically, the Great Wall isn't very easy to spot from a close orbit of 180 miles -- it's large enough, but its colors don't distinguish it from its natural surroundings. Furthermore, astronauts' descriptions and photographs have shown that airports and highways can be seen from orbit as well.

Thomas Edison Invented The Lightbulb

Calling Thomas Edison the "inventor" of the lightbulb is false. Although instrumental in developing a commercially successful lightbulb, he did not create it. A closer examination takes us to 1809, when Englishman Humphry Davy created an arc lamp. A decade later, Warren de la Rue built the first sealed lightbulb and in 1840, William Robert Grove lit an entire room of lamps. Unfortunately, the products were expensive, with questionable durability. Eight scientists and three patents later, Edison expanded on these ideas to create a longer-lasting, cheaper product. The rest is history, but it wasn't Edison's to begin with.

  

Humans Only Use 10% Of Their Brains

In the 1800s, scientists debated the overall function of the brain. Out of these debates, William James later wrote about humans only using a small percentage of their brains, and the 10% myth was born.

Although simple tasks require specific brain areas, anything complicated requires far more than 10% of the brain; magnetic imaging has documented this, and scientists are basically in agreement about brain functions. Unfortunately, many psychics still use the 10% myth to promote the idea that they are using more brain power than others. Psychics might be intrinsically connected to some topics, but brain science isn't one of them. 

That's all I got for you guys. I'll see you all tomorrow. Goodbye- I mean, see ya later, hehe...